There is a pandemic from no one, even young people, can truly feel safe. We don’t have vaccines and science will not help us too much. The virus I talk about is loneliness.
In times of social distancing the situation is even deteriorating, but we must all admit that the huge problem existed before Covid 19, too. According to different surveys about half of Americans say that they feel lonely, and 13% claim that there are zero people who know them well.
In the U.K. people report being so lonely that a special Ministry of Loneliness needed to be founded to address their needs. “It (social isolation) is proven to be worse for health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day” told Mark Robinson, head of Age UK, Britain’s largest nonprofit working with older people in the interview for The Times. Indeed, according to physicians loneliness can have a very negative impact on our physical health, too and is associated with higher risk of, for example, heart disease, depression, diabetes, or cancer (research for AARP organization).
In Japan, loneliness is slowly becoming a sad norm. They even invented a special word – “kodokushi” – used to describe people dying alone and remaining undiscovered for long periods of time. The other one is “hikikomori” – defined by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry as someone who has remained isolated at home for at least six consecutive months without going to school or work, and rarely interacts with people from outside their own immediate family.
Social media do not necessarily curb isolation, even if their users become very popular. That might create an illusion and intensify the efforts to build the best self-image, not the best self-version. Naturally, not every sphere is supposed to be showed publicly, and I am not surprised that people usually post only beautiful pictures of them, their adventures, flats, and landscapes. However, we desperately need someone with whom it would be possible to share other sides too; although I go to the public well-dressed and prepared for my tasks, my friends know my face without make-up, my sometimes messy flat, and difficulties which we all encounter. The moments spent with these friends are the most precious ones; when instead of small talks, we can have real and meaningful conversations (of course, not forgetting about not-so-deep issues, too).
Here comes another difference – between having people to spend time with, and having real friends and relationships worth fighting for. It is usually simply more pleasurable to go to the restaurant, a party or for a trip with others than to go there alone, but that’s far from enough when it comes to our need to share a life with our loved ones (dear friends, members of the family). As a result, even those who seem to have a very intensive social life might experience serious loneliness.
Neither the best law, nor the special ministry can adequately address the problem. However, there is good news too: even small gestures have the power to make a huge difference.
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